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Chapelgate Christian Academy PTF
Mixer
Read
Ephesians 4:25-5:2
Introduction- Our lives are complex. Oftentimes we don’t know how to get
our own personal lives in order, because there is great confusion to be who
we know we should be. We all have
fears, doubts, concerns, and then we are called to bring children into the
world…then to raise them in the nurture and admonition of the
LORD…but how??
FIRST: Know this: God is committed to teaching
you and helping you by his Spirit to communicate Christ, both in word and
deed to your children. He
cares! His grace is sufficient. As christians we are never alone.
I.
Learning:
We are all called to learning- Wisdom through our lives!
o We
were created to learn from God- Genesis 1:26-31; 2:18-24
“Revelation
Receivers”- All life was explained and understood by God’s
revelation to us in creation and his Word.
God is Our Great Teacher!
o Our
ability to learn became tainted by sin- Genesis 3:1-19
God and His Truth not so clear
to us after the Fall:
We are separated from the
“fire” of his presence and the full “light” of his
truth because of our sins.
o IN CHRIST,
we are in the process of learning from God so that we might also teach our
children- Romans 12:1; Ephesians 6:1-4
-Word of God renews our mind
- We are to pass this on to
our children (part of the “spiritual warfare” of Eph. 6:10-18).
- This implies difficulty, yet victory in Christ!
Hindrances:
Are we: Approachable/Defensive-
We learn a great deal from others!
Learning our method of
parenting from the world, rather than Scripture
Think in light of
“community learning” (Eph. 3:18)- Like you exchange baby
clothes as the children grow, so exchange biblical parenting ideas as you
grow with your children.
Hope:
Teachable/Receptive
God is committed to our
learning and to teaching us wisdom so as to be successful parents. When we ask God, we know he will give
wisdom to us who ask. We should
constantly submit ourselves to each other in light of God’s Word
(Eph. 5:21). Remember to practice humility and
patience by His Grace!
II.
Language:
We all speak various languages.
o Read
Ephesians 4:25-32
o Our goal
is to effectively communicate our hearts to our children – but how?
o How do
we speak? How do our children speak to us?
o How
Jeremiah 17:9 can help- It is not just a problem of age separating us from
communicating to one another, it is also a problem of the heart. We know not how to communicate well.
o Learning
is humbling! If it takes us numerous
times to hear and believe and understand and obey our God, how much more will it take time for
young children?
Hindrances:
We want to say what we want to
say, but we are impatient in trying to decipher communication from
others. How does your impatience and
irritation communicate to your children? Remember: Love is patient…it
is kind.
Hope:
Encouragement for us! God has
spoken to us clearly in Christ so that we might understand others through
patience and “stooping” to understand as God
“stoops” to communicate to us by drawing near.
Seek to understand how your children communicate to
you- - what language do they speak to you?
Illustration: Why is it so easy for us to “stoop” and
speak baby talk to infants, but when these babies become teens, we act as
if we have lost our ability to communicate!
III.
Loving:
We all desire to love our children- We
want to show our love!
o We are
imitators of God-Ephesians 5:1-2- God has set an example for us. Rather than seeking specific verses of
Scripture under the subject heading of “parenting”, we should
notice God’s own way with his children.
o We
should develop prayerfully a God-Centered
Theology of Parenting based upon Exodus 34:6-7. As “imitators of God” we can
be like God, by his grace:
Exodus
34:6-7 6
The LORD passed before him and proclaimed, "The LORD, the LORD, a God
merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love and
faithfulness, 7 keeping steadfast
love for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin, but who
will by no means clear the guilty, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on
the children and the children's children, to the third and the fourth
generation."
o We are
ambassadors of God’s grace in Christ- 2 Corinthians 5:17-21
o It is
not just what we say to our children, but it is
what we do- - who we really are
to them.
Hindrances:
We don’t truly
understand our parental and teacher roles as those of “ambassadors”
of God in Christ. We are
representatives of his truth and his character. We are “windows” through
which our children view the Living God.
Hope:
A personal understanding of who
we are because of Christ’s work in our lives and his mission to send
us forth as ambassadors to our children!
Remember: The greatest evangelism
and “outreach” to the world will happen in the “inreach” of our homes!
God has given us everything we
need for life and godliness to prepare and equip us for the difficult and
challenging role as ambassador parents and teachers. God teaches us wisdom and gives wisdom to
those who ask him- 2 Peter 1:3; James 1:3-7.
IV.
Listening:
To listen or not to listen.
o James 1:19-27- Quick to listen
(hear), slow to speak, slow to anger!
o Our
words and our actions carry messages of truth of error
o We
live an extremely busy world…we need not merely “quality
time” but “listening time”!
o Listen
to the “story behind the story” of what your children are
saying, as well as doing. There is
always a “heart-story” behind any strange communication or
behavior.
Hindrances:
Active, or
inactive listening: We are
busy talking but usually saying nothing (or not listening and thinking of
what we want to say while others are speaking to us)!
Remember to set apart time to
focus on your children. They spend a
lot of their existence in front of television, their minds are engaged
between two stereo headphones feeding them ideas and concepts from music,
their eyes are usually focused in a computer screen. In other words, your children today spend
a lot of time in “virtual reality” and not “real
reality”. As covenant
children, our children need to learn what it feels like to be touched by a
mild wind, a small blade of grass, the smell of a forest; they need to be
in touch with creation, or “real reality” that God has made for
man to live in. They need to
appreciate, but not to be overwhelmed by man-made “virtual
realities”.
Hope:
God is committed to teach us
by His Spirit to be instruments of his grace in listening and speaking
words of redemption when we do talk.
Let nothing unwholesome come out of your mouth…only that
will build others up according to
their needs.
God can help us as parents and
teachers to take off our masks and to be authentic with the children- -
sins and all. When God gave us
“heroes” in Scripture, they had flaws like all of us. We must be careful not to place heavy
burdens upon our children that we ourselves cannot carry, or lift! Grace, grace, grace! If children see grace in our lives, then
they may hope in the same Christ, and not one of our own making!
V.
Lord
and Teacher Jesus Christ- “Contra-ditional”
Love
1. Jesus
sympathizes with us in our teaching duties to our children (as he
understands from his experience with his disciples)-
Hebrews 4:14-16.
2. Jesus
forgives our weaknesses and is committed to transforming our hearts to be
hearts of understanding- 1 John 1:7ff.
3. Jesus
is our guide who never leaves us nor forsakes us as we learn to parent and
nurture our children- Hebrews 13:8.
4. Jesus
loves us “contra-ditionally” because
he sees what by His grace we will
become. We must learn to love
and communicate in the same way!
5. I know
you pray for your children, but also pray for yourself, that you will come
to communicate the love you have for them!
6. ‘Contraditional love’ is a term I got from David Powlison’s book on God’s Love.
o The
family is the “little church”.
We cannot expect God’s visible church to be any healthier or
holier than the “little churches” within our own households! The visible church is made up of lots of
“little churches” as a covenant community.
o Therefore,
let us strive together by his grace to raise our covenant children in the
nurture and admonition of the LORD that we ourselves have received so abundantly
at the hands of the LORD, and which we have know will bring growth and
meaning to our lives and the lives our covenant children!
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Resources for Further Study
Age of Opportunity: A
Biblical Guide to Parenting Teens
- Paul David Tripp, P&R Publishing
"This is an optimistic, positive, biblical book on parenting.
In a world that has made an industry out of dysfunction, it is refreshing
to read a book that assumes that God understands the situation and has made
ample preparation for parents and teenagers to succeed." Jay Kesler
Shepherding
a Child’s Heart
-
Tedd Tripp, P&R Publishing
“Most books on parenting
give you advice either on how to shape and constrain your children's behavior
or on how to make them feel good about themselves. The former makes
parental wishes supreme; the latter makes childish wishes supreme.
Shepherding a Child's Heart teaches you what your goals as a parent ought
to be, and how to pursue those ends practically and biblically. This book
will inspire you to become a different kind of parent. It will teach you
how by precept and by example." – Dr. David Powlison
War of
Words: Getting to the Heart of Your Communication Struggles
-
Paul David Tripp, P&R Publishing
". . . an important and biblical book
about our words and our God. Few of us really think about the power, the
blessing, the gift, the effect, and the danger of our words. This book will
make you think before you speak. Best of all, it will make you think of him
before you speak. Read it. You'll be glad."
STEVE BROWN
"Paul Tripp does not offer superficial solutions to our
failures of communication. He recognizes that the spiritual quality of our
words emanates from our hearts. This book is must reading for all of
us."
TREMPER LONGMAN III
"If your mouth is your downfall, don't pass over this book for
fear of getting your knuckles rapped. Author Paul Tripp has blown it too!
But he's learning how to change by God's grace, and he's sharing that grace
with anyone who will listen."
STEVE ESTES
"Until our hearts are completely purified by God in heaven, we
must set strong guards at the gates of our mouths and fight daily battles
to restrain the overflow of our sinful desires. I have never before read such
helpful insights and practical tools for this battle. I enthusiastically
recommend War of Words."
KEN SANDE
Websites
Christian Counseling and
Educational Foundation (CCEF)- www.ccef.org
-
Excellent site for parenting and relationships
A
Place for Truth- www.APlaceforTruth.org
- Studies, essays and sermons
on biblical truth. A complete essay
of tonight’s talk will be available online in a couple of weeks! Go to the website to receive ‘Word
of Encouragement’!!
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